Belonging
Dear Friends in Christ,
This weekend at the Ten o’clock Mass, we will celebrate the Rite of Acceptance and Welcoming. Some of these men and women are preparing for Baptism, Confirmation, and First Eucharist at Easter. Others who were previously baptized are seeking admission into the Catholic Church, Confirmation, and First Eucharist. Still others who were baptized as Catholics are preparing for Confirmation. They meet every Sunday morning with Diane McCarthy–our Pastoral Associate–and her team. That team does the hard work each week of helping to teach and form these men and women. I will have the privilege of baptizing, confirming, and administering the Eucharist to them.
The desire to belong is present in every human heart. In our present moment in time, one way that this desire is expressed is through social media. Many people spend enormous amounts of time scrolling, posting, liking, and seeking out “likes.” There can be an almost frenetic frenzy in the online world. And yet, it seems that this online world only deepens a sense of loneliness, isolation, and emptiness in people’s lives. The algorithms seem designed to isolate us into ghettoes of echo-chambers where we are exposed only to what our masters think we want to hear. Controversies are constantly being contrived in order to keep us contained in a never-ending circle of anger, bitterness, and antagonism. What begins as a desire to have contact with others can devolve into a race to the bottom of nothingness.
Many people set out online in search of some human contact or some shared experience. Of course, the online world offers many positive things. There is, however, as we all know, a dark side to it. The search for belonging in a virtual world can become a ruinous journey. Addictive gambling, online shopping, online gaming, pornography, hatred, and anger all portend to offer the human person a way to feel better, but they all leave the person more alone and empty. The bets get bigger, the UPS truck arrives more frequently, the need to get to the next level keeps people awake all night, the pornography gets more grotesque, the hatred and anger become all-consuming. In a world where the chemical rush of dopamine is a click away, people are becoming increasingly isolated.
Despite all of that, a recent study of Catholics discovered that what most people are looking for in a parish is authentic community and meaningful relationships. (There are other factors also like more traditional forms of worship, good sermons, and the Sacraments.) At the top of the list, however, was authentic community and meaningful relationships. Of course, in a Catholic context, authentic community and meaningful relationships will always arise from and lead to authentic community and meaningful relationship with God himself. And, of course, the Sacraments are all about drawing us into life-giving communion.
While I was a college chaplain, I was impressed by the evangelical genius of the young people there. At Sunday Mass, for instance, they would notice someone sitting alone. They’d go and introduce themselves to that person. They’d say, “Hey, a group of us are going to the dining hall after Mass for breakfast if you’d like to come.” And, one by one, that’s how community and meaningful relationships get built.
The men and women who today will be accepted and welcomed are here because they desire to belong. That belonging is a life-long and ever-deepening reality. For all of us too, we don’t belong simply because we filled out a registration card somewhere along the way. Belonging is something we cultivate and continuously deepen. As a parish, I hope that we are continuously drawing others into authentic community and meaningful relationships. That’s what people are looking for. That’s what we are all looking for. Let’s be serious and intentional about making it happen.
Your Brother in Christ,
Fr. David Barnes
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