Blog Layout

Belonging to a Parish

Fr. David Barnes • Jan 31, 2024

From the PastorDear Friends in Christ,

Recently I received a letter from a married couple who belong to our parish. They are both in their eighties and experiencing some of the physical limitations that come with age. In their letter to me, they spoke about how much Fr. Mario meant to them, how much St. Patrick Parish means to them, and a bit of their history with the parish over many decades. In their letter, they also mentioned to me that having reviewed their finances, they were reducing their monthly and annual donations by a bit.

Their letter really was very striking to me. By taking the time to write me that letter, it said something about their connection to this parish. They really “belong” to St. Patrick Parish. Their letter reminded me of something that is a bit missing in younger generations, a sense of true belonging to a parish.

I think it is true that in many ways, people my age and younger often approach church with a bit of a consumer mentality. We can go in order to “get something out of it,” but we do not always have a sense that we also go in order to provide for others. Somewhere along the way, we lost the sense of “joining a parish” and “belonging to a parish.” A friend of mine is pastor of a parish with tons of young adults. He loves them, but he often says that it can be difficult to run a parish with young adults as your major base. He says, “If you have an event that they like, they come out in full force, but if you need to put a new roof on the church, they’re not interested in that!”

That was what was so striking to me about the letter from that couple. These people took the time to write to me to explain why they had to give a little less going forward. They’ve been supporting St. Patrick Parish longer than I have been alive! Their generosity–and the generosity of so many people of their generation–is why we have our beautiful church, why we have our school, why we have a roof, why we have a parish.

Their letter was so beautiful to me. They feel this sense of responsibility to the parish and they think carefully about what they can give. I hope that some pastor thirty, forty, or fifty years from now will receive a similar letter and think to himself, “What incredible parishioners! They started supporting this parish way back in 2024 and they have this incredible sense of truly belonging to the parish.

I want to thank our many parishioners who have generously belonged to St. Patrick Parish for decades for all you have done and all that you continue to do. Your “belonging” is an inspiration. I’d also like to encourage those who are younger and who continue to benefit from the generosity of our elders to intensify your belonging. How? I can think of three quick ways:

Actually Register for the Parish. You can do that online or in person.

When you see or hear of a need in the parish, step up and offer help.

Contribute consistently and generously to the parish. (Online giving is a huge source of help to the parish because it helps us to budget well.)

Whether you have been a parishioner for eighty years or eight days, whether you are wealthy or poor, whether you are young, old, or somewhere in between, I invite you to imitate the authors of that recent letter and intensify your belonging to a parish. We belong here. And, I am grateful to belong with you.

Your Brother in Christ,

Fr. David Barnes

You might also like

Pastor's Notes

By Fr. David Barnes 24 Jul, 2024
Long before we drove around with GPS in our cars, I was on vacation with a friend of mine in Portugal. We had the name of the place where we were staying and the name of the location. We found the city okay. After that, our friendship nearly ended! We drove around the city of Porto for literally hours. I was driving and he was in the passenger’s seat. Every time we stopped at a red light, he would roll down his window and beg people for directions. He often jokes that he spoke to so many people that day, he could have run for mayor of Porto. He kept begging me to stop somewhere and ask for directions. I kept saying, “I think if we just go up this street here, we will run into it.” He was trying to remain calm, but I could hear the frustration in his voice when he would ask, “On what are you basing that? What makes you think that if we just keep driving around we will find it?” In retrospect (though I will never admit this to him), his plan was perhaps the right one. Would it not be better to stop and to ask someone who knows the area how to find our destination? Instead, I was taking rights and lefts as though my maneuvers meant something. In fact, they were just random shots in the dark. Last week in the Gospel, Jesus’s heart was filled with pity for the people because they were “like sheep without a shepherd.” They were roaming around aimlessly. Sometimes we adopt an attitude to the spiritual life whereby we think if we just plow ahead aimlessly, we will inevitably arrive at our destination. We tell ourselves things that make us feel better, like me declaring (based upon no evidence whatsoever), “I think if we just go up this road, we will eventually run into it.” What lies do we tell ourselves in the spiritual life? They are many! One is, “There’s plenty of time to get things straightened out.” Even if you are young, you have no idea that is true. I suppose the odds are better when you are young, but the reality is nobody knows how much time they have before they stand before the judgement seat of God. Surprisingly, this lie is not one that is limited to young people. That delusion of “there’s plenty of time,” can actually deepen as one gets older. One can become more careless and reckless about their soul as they age. Another lie that we can tell ourselves is that things that the scriptures and the church have always taught to be sinful, “really are not that big a deal since everybody commits them.” This is basically to say, “Since everyone else is lost, it’s okay for me to be lost too.” I suspect that deep down, most of us know that this is purely self-delusional, but we can take an artificial comfort in such self-delusions. It’s like saying, “If I stay on this road, no matter how far it is taking me from my destination, I will eventually run into my destination.” Total self-delusion. The alternative to self-delusion is to pull the car over and rely upon those who know the lay of the land. Christ instituted the Church in order to help us to follow Christ to our final destination. To learn always requires some humility. It means admitting that “I do not possess all the answers.” To be a disciple is to follow Christ. It is to admit that I need a shepherd to get where I hope to go. This is foundational for the Christian life. We can all settle into a self-delusional self-assurance about our life. If we find ourselves in that state, it is good to reject it and to begin living back in reality. The Church—her teachings, her saints, her authority, her sacraments—are the most sure and certain way to follow Christ. The Church points us in the direction of our true destination. Is it possible that you could wander around aimlessly and somehow arrive at the right destination? I don’t know. Maybe. Doesn’t sound like a particularly good plan though. And since we are talking about spending our eternity with God in heaven or without Him in Hell, it seems like we might want to aim for a more reliable plan! Feel like you don’t have to pray every day? Self-delusion. Don’t need to go to Mass every Sunday? Self-delusion. No need to go to confession? Self-delusion. No need to be generous in supporting the works of the Church? Self-delusion. No need to turn away from sin? Self-delusion. No need to forgive my enemies? Self-delusion. No need to deepen my faith? Self-delusion. There’s plenty of time for me to figure things out? Self-delusion. Well, you get the idea! Jesus gives us to one another in order to save us from our self-delusion and to help one another to follow Him because He alone is the Way. Your Brother in Christ, Fr. David Barnes
By Fr. David Barnes 18 Jul, 2024
Last Sunday I was called to a hospital to give the Last Rites to a woman who was dying. Although I brought Holy Communion with me, because she was unconscious, she was not able to receive. As I was leaving that room, I stopped to see the patient in the other bed. She looked dejected, worn down, and in pain. We chatted for a few moments and she told me what parish she came from and what parish she now attends. I asked her if she would be able to receive Holy Communion. Her reaction was so beautiful. She looked completely stunned, and sat up so quickly that she knocked a couple of things over. She folded her hands and prayed with me, but she kept repeating over and over again, “Thank You. Thank you, Father. You don’t know how much this means to me.” It was so beautiful to me to witness her deep love for the Eucharist. So often when I go to a hospital or a nursing home to visit one person, I wind up ministering to someone else quite unexpectedly. That woman’s profound devotion to our Eucharistic Lord still has me smiling. The Lord used my priesthood in that moment to bring that woman the Eucharist. At the same time, he used that woman as a witness to me. Her Faith deepened my own desire for greater love for the Eucharist. Last week I mentioned at a fairly crowded 6:00 pm Mass that sometimes when I offer that Mass, I think to myself, “Somebody here was thinking about skipping Mass today, but instead, they forced themselves to go to the Six.” I mentioned that applied to them, how wonderful it is that they accepted the grace that God gave to them, and that, by coming to Mass, they did something so pleasing to God. As I said that, I saw all sorts of people looking at one another and nodding as if to say, “Yeah, that’s us.” After Mass, many people mentioned to me that they were in that category. My point in sharing that is exactly the same as why I mentioned the woman in the hospital. We should not underestimate the power of our personal witness of Faith. Those people who came to Mass even though they were tempted to skip, offered a beautiful witness to others. They offered a great witness to me. Your very presence at Mass each week strengthens the Faith of your brothers and sisters who are there. I know it strengthens my Faith. Sometimes people think that missing Mass is a private matter that only affects their personal relationship with God, but that is not so. When someone is not at Mass, the whole community is poorer for it. Witnessing to our Faith strengthens one another. I know that I single out one group of people a lot in our parish, and I hope by doing so nobody else feels as though I am slighting them! But, one of the things that really strikes me about St. Patrick Parish is how many young couples, infants, babies, and families there are. Your presence is such a fantastic witness to the rest of us. When we see you at Mass, we see that Christ is at work here. Your presence lifts the rest of us up and makes us rejoice, not only in the gift of life, but more importantly in the gift of the supernatural life of grace. In a world where many people have forgotten or rejected God, you are a witness to the indomitable power of grace. In any event, I hope that you know how much the rest of us love you and are grateful that you are here with us. We are all here in this particular place and this particular moment to help one another on the great pilgrimage through this life to eternal life. Each one of us is here for a reason. The more each of us responds to the graces that the Lord gives to us, the more the others are strengthened. When we respond to the graces that God gives to us–like the grace to go to Mass, go to confession, pray, be generous with our time, treasure, and talent, to practice virtue etc.–we do these firstly for God. We do them also because they are good for us. But, we also do them for one another. Thank you all for the abundant ways that you have responded positively to the graces that the Lord has given to you. Your personal witness of faith and holiness helps the rest of us, more than you might ever know. Your Brother in Christ, Fr. David Barnes
By Fr. David Barnes 10 Jul, 2024
Although it is still being tweaked, our new parish website is up and running. If you open up the website, the first thing you will see are these words: “Beauty, Goodness, Truth, and Friendship in Christ.”
By Fr. David Barnes 03 Jul, 2024
Last week I returned from twelve days in Italy. The weather was perfect, the friendship of those with whom I traveled was uplifting, the meals (wherein I ate far too much!) were excellent, the prayer was restorative, and the sights were beautiful. It felt as though I had been away for a month.
By Fr. David Barnes 26 Jun, 2024
Dear Brothers and Sisters of St. Patrick,
By Fr. Patrick Fiorillo 19 Jun, 2024
Dear Friends in Christ,
More Posts
Share by: